Inexplicable Feeling

It has been a week but my mood is still swinging. I tried to forget about it and leave the past behind. Always bearing in my mind that all of these happened because of my sensitivity. However, it's not that easy to put down the glass when people around you starts to convince what you think was right.

"She leaves you behind already. Now she has another one."

Although we walked side by side but there was no close conversations between us anymore. I really tried my best to make things right. But, how?

Reading what you wrote even hurts me more. I didn't mean the way you described it to be. I'm just speechless.

* when can i U-turn the smile on my face? *

Many may ask what happened? You may ask why it has to turn out this way? And i will only answer, i never want it to happen this way.

~ ♥ © cHeLLe ♥ ~

What is done is done...

* disappointment *

If you were to 'accidentally' cut someone with a knife and when you realized it was actually hurting that person, WHAT are you going to do? Pull out the knife and apologized a zillion times? Beg for mercy?Let me tell you this, no matter how much you do or say, whatever is done is done... You ALREADY left a scar on that person. There's NOTHING that you say or do that will make the scar disappear. And, even if the person wants to forgive you so much, the wound still hurts..the pain still exist...

Sometimes we tend to do/say something that hurts the other intentionally or unintentionally..it doesn't matter anyway because the outcome is the same. You still hurt that person. It makes things worst when you stabbed the person twice! You said you dunno it will hurt. BUT, i already told you before it hurts when you do so.

Am i being too sensitive? Am i demanding too much? Why again and again i find your words doesn't coincide with your actions?

Anyway, the BEST solution if the person you stabbed was me, is DO NOTHING! Because the more you do/say, you'll only make things worse...

~ All that i want is just a person that will accompany me along the way. A person that won't leave me nor forsake me in any situations. I am independent but it doesn't mean i'm okay being alone~

Praying for a BETTER day tomorrow*

~ ♥ © cHeLLe ♥ ~

Put The Glass Down

Recently, many of my friends were upset, disappointed and de-motivated by their results including me. Be it CIMA (a professional paper for Management Accountant) or our coursework marks, it's all about the RESULTS. We've worked so hard for it but yet we're unable to achieve what we wanted/expected. In my case, i'm totally satisfied and grateful with my CIMA result despite failing two papers and just passing ONE. Don't give me that skeptical look. I repeat i am SATISFIED and GRATEFUL with it because of the efforts i put in. I think it's really a MIRACLE for me to pass that paper..still can't believe i actually pass..Praise God^^

So, what am i disappointed about? My coursework mark. For the past four weeks of study in UK, i've been giving my best for all the coursework. For the first time i put so much effort in doing those assignments that are not accessed and accessed. However, it's not enough. I can say if this work is to be marked by Tarc, i would probably get a good marks..but maybe the expectations here are different. They expect a lot from us and really treats us like a consultant each time we present. I'm not saying it's not good. I'm glad they trained us like this because soon we'll be in the corporate world. BUT, the problem is nothing that we did seems to be good for them. No matter how hard you prepare for it, they'll just throw a wet blanket on you or 'shoot' at the points you give. Even if you defend yourself with a shotgun, they still have sniper with them. So, what can we do? Wear a bullet prove jacket and just let them shoot because you'll never win them (the arguments). It's really de-motivating to go for the presentation and get that kind of results. And, today a lot of my E-commerce friends posted in FB their disappointments over the result they got. What do you want from us, ang mo??

Is my goal of achieving first class degree attainable?

skeptical look*

In the midst of my frustration preparing for my next presentation this friday, i suddenly remember an article that RaymondWong blogged about last year. It encourages me and motivates me to move on that time. So, there i go searching through his blog and tadaa!! Here's the article:

Put The Glass Down

A teacher entered into the classroom carrying a large glass filled with water. He held the glass high so that all students can see how big the glass is. He then asked the students, “How much do you think this glass weighs?”

With this, several answers came in, “100 grams!”, “250 grams!” , “It couldn’t weigh more than 500 grams!”. The teacher then said, “I don’t know unless and until I weigh it.”

The teacher asked further, “What would happen if I decided to hold it up like this for a few more minutes?” One of the student answered immediately, “Nothing!”.
“You’re right! Nothing will happen.”, the teacher answered.

“What if I were to hold it for 1 hour, what would happen?” asked the teacher again. A smart student answered “Your arm would ache terribly.”. “You’re right!”, replied the teacher.

“What if I were to hold it for the whole day?”, the teacher asked on. To this, a student answered jokingly, “Your arm would go numb, muscles will be stressed and might develop paralysis.” The whole class broke into laughter. The teacher laughed too.

Then he asked again, “In all this time, did the weigh of the glass change?” The students answered in one accord, “NO!”.

“Then, what caused the pain in my arm and how do I stop the pain?” the teacher asked. Then, a student answered softly, “Put down the glass.”

The teacher then smiled and started his lecture.

“Life problems are like that. It is important to think about our problems or things that disturb us for a while, as we seek for solutions. However, if we keep them in our head too long, our head begins to ache. If we still don’t let go and keep thinking about them for a pro-longed period of time, they will paralyze us and we become unable to do anything, or move forwards.”

"How many glasses can you hold at any given time? Why not learn how to handle one problem at a time ... easier and more effective."

Lesson to learn from this article:

Sometimes, we just don't get what we expect and we tend to dwell ourselves into tensions. Are we not doing good enough? Why did others score good result and not me? Why God is so unfair to me? Even how much efforts i put in , i still can't get good results? Why she study so little and yet she can get better marks than me? What's the problem with me? So, we often end up emo-ING. To make things even worse is to give up and let go of our dreams.

Friends, sometimes we should learn to put things down and move forward. Like what my pastor said

"Never let your past disappointments shape the happiness of your future. Just be thankful wherever you are"

The results are not important. The PROCESS that matters in the end because it is the process that makes us grow not the result. So, in order to experience a fulfilling life, we can’t let our problems to fill our thoughts and lives. Know that you have done enough and gave your best solutions, put the ‘glass’ down and go to bed with a SMILE =)

I'm refreshed and motivated after reading this article. I hope it does to you too.

NITEZ ^^

Summer Fun Day

Suddenly something strikes my mind when I was doing my assignments half way. Blogging competition closing date is TOMORROW! 2 days ago Andrew sent us a FB inbox message to remind us about the closing date which is 18.07.2010! I thought it was last week, 09.07.2010?? blurr face* Never mind, maybe I should give it a TRY! =)

Looking at the DATE of my last post* - 8^th July! Oops! I'm not a consistent blogger >< Well, let me explain, it's because I'm busy with assignments, travelling and of course SHOPPING!! Weeeeee^^ and actually I'm thinking how I can blog about the trips I went thus far; Manchester, Cambridge, Whitby, Liverpool and the recent one, Cheshire Oaks where my pocket grew a HOLE! Shopaholic symptoms @@

It's just so MUCH to blog about the trips that I need more time to compose. So, to prevent the GAPS of my 2^nd post from the 1^st one from growing any bigger, I shall just blog about what happened TODAY. WAIT! Don't get me wrong..I'm NOT giving up on those post yet, I'm just postponing it to another day^^

It's my first time being HOME ALONE in Sheffield since the day I came. All my housemates went to Cheshire Oaks after being tempted by me last week with the SUMMER SALES that is going on there. The BRANDED stuffs are so CHEAP affordable compared to Malaysia. Price REDUCTIONs in almost ALL the outlets. So, you really can't blame me for spending over my budget. Xp EH! I thought I'm supposed to blog about what happened today? LOL.

dragging myself back from my shopaholic mind and stay focus* ><

Instead of staying home alone, I joined Queen and her housemates for a SUMMER fun day!

Event organized by Andrew Firecracker

We made our way to Norfolk Park at about 11.15am. Had a great time picnicking, cricketing, playing with Zoey, a doggy we met and Frisbee. Pictures speak more than words, so let the pictures speak:

Ingredients for the Fried Rice

Tadaa! Fried Rice for our picnic^^

Norfolk Park Entrance

Our Foods for picnic..yummy*

Sorry for the eaten pizza, we're too hungry while finding our ways to the picnic site, so we just had it on our way =)

Picnicking*

Two persons football?

Look who we found! Zoey ♥

She belongs to a Chinese couple here, Husband from UK and Wife from China. Lovely couple with lovely doggy.

She's really playful. Wish to have one next time.

back to childhood time*

We need to carry the egg using just the spoon without dropping it. Winner is the one that reaches the end first. It's not as easy it seems. U guess who's the winner!

EYEBROWS RAISED*

love this place*

Look who we found on our way back! Another cute doggy. Ryan said his face is BIGGER than mine! ngekngek*

Before we went off, we took some pictures again at the entrance of the park. It's really a nice place to hang out, de-stress, stroll around, jogging, sports, picnic and if only I have a DSLR, it would be an ideal place to capture some great pictures^^

Couple 1: Wen Cong and Cindy ♥

Couple 2: Ryan and Queen

Queen and I =)

mat poser..:p

Some additions to my 'A Step to DSLR' album. I'm still learning to capture great pictures, so if you have any comments, do drop me one! It'll motivate me and helps me to brush up my skills =)

Picture 1

Picture 2

And the final picture we took

We went to casino before we went home because it was raining heavily. (a good reason to go in casino..haha) Alright, we actually went in to get our free drink! hehe..You just need to stay inside the casino and you can order as many cups you want. Hot Chocolate or Lemonade =) Cindy, Wen Cong and Ryan plays some bet and end up ONLY Cindy won. She won 12 pounds I guess. Versace Perfume free for her^^

THAT'S ALL FOLKS! NEXT POST WILL BE ABOUT THE TRIPS ^^

~ ♥ © cHeLLe ♥ ~

Virgin Post *blushed*

Hello everyone! Welcome to my BLOGGY +)

As you can see from the title, it's my FIRST time blogging.

It's been awhile since i wanted to blog and it had took ages to write the first post! (you can see the date this blog was created, it's in NOV 2008!! haha) Well, i know i promised a few of you (especially Jean babe) that i will start blogging long time ago and i always failed you. But, hey, see finally i make it! *claps claps*

I want to make this first blog an appreciative one, so i'm going to dedicate it to my lovely W47!!

♥♥♥ I MISS ALL OF YOU ♥♥♥

It's all of you that makes my life better, brighter and full of laughters. I still remember the time when w26 was multiplied, i was so devastated. I'm separated with Jessie and i'm not close with anyone in w47.

* w26 multiplied to w47 *

I have less than 10words with Joey and Chuan Meng. Thomas, i don't remember talking to him and Jen...ummm, i don't think we talk much. ><

emo face*

BUT, as time passed, Jing came in

and soon Ginger and Gary.

* Ginger's bday *

It was then that i feel more and more belong to W47 and through the time and conversations and not to forget our unfailingly yum cha session,

* yum cha session after Fren's nite '10*

we get closer and closer to one another. Our relationship is definitely more than just a friend, or cell group member or church member..we are ONE family!! Look - We have our very own family tree =)

We shared our HAPPINESS and celebrate our SUCCESS together.

* Emerge 2009 *

We shed our TEARS together. We PRAY, we WORSHIP and we PRAISE Him together; and we GROW stronger and more mature in Him. We've been through a lot together whether it's ups or downs. I didn't know that all of you plays an important part in my life until i came to UK.

* UK *

Every thursday, now friday i will think of the time we spent in CG.

* Meng gor's bday and he's with his new BOXER! *

I miss sharing praise reports! I miss Joey preaching God words to me and i miss all the laughters (especially Ginger's contagious laughters that never fails to make my two granddaughters burst into guffaw

(unrestrained burst of laughters)

and funs we had together.

* Our FUN FUN Outing *

* Shopping *

* Sherene: ling, u c u c..this color so nice, rite?

WanLing: yeee...nice meh?

Ginger: which one should i buy? both? but 'bo lui' >< *

I know i'm a bit emotion here, it's only 3months and i'm saying like i'm leaving you guys for years. HAHA. Maybe this is the reason why i'm your MUMMY? Full of emotions. Xp

* the nerdy vs the cool *

* posing in Fitting room with my twins ^^ *

* bullied by my twins *

* RESULT: go back eat rotan! always bully me in public..hng *

I just want to say i'm really grateful to have you guys as part of my family. There is still a long journey ahead of us before we reach the end. Whether it's bad time or good time, we shall go through all the bumpy roads in front of us together hand-in-hand, ya?! =)

* love you guys *

This is what i do when i miss all of you here

http://www.facebook.com/people/Michelle-Oo/580544055#!/video/video.php?v=463562664055

* WATCH this (it makes me tears everytime i see this T.T)*

P/S: i don't know why i can't upload the video here. I've tried for more than 24 hrs already. Anyway, i'm a SMART mummy so you guys can CLICK the link above to watch it again and read...

My Reply:

Dear Joey, it's not me being a blessing to you but you being a blessings to me in my life. It's true that we've been through a lot and i know that there's time i rebuked at you, ignored you(especially not picking up your calls or replying your sms-es...haha) and throw my tantrums on you when i'm in bad mood but you're always there for me and never leave me even once. I'm really thankful to God for sending you as my cell leader guiding me through my life so that i won't take the wrong turnings. I promised you that i will try my best to be a testimony to all the people around me and spread the love like you did^^

Dear Thomas, too bad you got no time to video yourself, else i can see your strict and expressionless face.haha. Anyway, thank you for being part of this family. There's a lot of things that i can learn from you especially your passion towards making all things perfect and always seeking to improve yourself! I know there's a lot of plans inside your head and sometimes you want to share with us but you don't have the chance. Maybe it was because we're too noisy and we talk non-stop. HAHA. I know that there are times you felt left out but i just want to say we are one family and sometimes, there are no rules for us. So, you can just interrupt us and say you got something to share. I'm sure ALL of us are anxious to hear from you! +) Alright, 3months for you to step out from your comfort zone. I can't wait to see a cheerful and full of expression THOMAS when i'm back! I pray that you'll excel in your working place and be a blessings to all the people around you. I'm grateful to have you as my big brother!^^

Dear Gary, I don't why you talk in mandarin then half way change to english. It couldn't be that you're camera shy because you've recorded lots of video before. hmm* Anyway, giving me your number in the video makes everyone laughed! Good one! haha.. Just want to say i really cherish all the helps and supports you've given me thus far. There are time i'm rebellious and might have hurt you with my words but i just want to say i'm really sorry . Let's forget all the past and enjoy our great time in UK! Most importantly, we must go back stronger and more mature! Oh btw, you're my sheep! So, don't ever get lost ya! Anything you can contact me at 07587xxxxxx =)

Dear Meng Gor, you're always so hilarious and full of expression. In that video, you're like my daddy! So serious and shy! Chon wai beside you izit? haha..Anyway, i will surely take good care of myself here and always stalking you guys in FB ^^ I know that Advanced Diploma isn't an easy route for you but hey, everything is not easy at first. But, soon when you go through it and learn step by step, you will surely be able to complete it. Recall back SPM, it wasn't easy at first but now if you look back, was it easy? Macam kacang putih, rite? hehe.. So, don't give up easily and don't always limit/underestimate yourself. You're way smarter than you expect. Get rid of the lazy worms in your stomach and you might be smarter than everybody! ^^ Alright, hope to see a more confident and determine person in you when i go back! Jia You =)

Dear Jing, bling bling* can see the bling bling thing that i'm wearing? HAHA..very bad la you..Wearing more accessories than you doesn't mean there's something wrong with me.Xp but anyway, sorry for being late on the 1st day you met me.LOL. Let me tell you, what's my 1st impression towards you. This girl is so cheerful and talk non-stop. She must be an old member of CHC because she can talk to almost EVERYONE! impressed* BUT, i was partially wrong. You're a new member! GOSH! I was so shocked and started questioning myself, why i can't communicate as well as you. I think it was fated or something that you soon become my cell member and now, my dai lui! Through you, i've learnt to be more cheerful and talkative, more humorous and sociable; and able to sleep REAL late/ or don't sleep for 24hrs! I really enjoy the time we had together; yum cha, dim sum, study late at Oldtown and McD, pillow talk, cooking, and go crazy with you, Hiung and him! Oh, i admit i'm not a good bible teacher but i'll improve on that^^ Alright, i know you're going through a tough time now, balancing your ACCA and final year as well as your family problems. I'm here to support you always, although i can't promise you that i can be there for you straight away when you need me BUT, i can promise you that i will do my BEST to be always there for you to lend you my ears and shoulders. Whatever that is uncontrollable by us, let us all LIFT UP to God and let Him do the rest. He needs our trust in order to help us. So, learn to lift up your family burdens to Him and trust wholeheartedly that He will restore your relationship among your family members. Share with you here, my parents' relationship are getting better now because i choose to trust in Him. (i actually ignore those problems and just pray to Him to restore the relationship..He's working! ^^)I hope to see a REAL CHEERFUL, Jing not only from the outside but also INSIDE when i go back! Love you^^

Dear Jen, thank you for the lovely message from you in the video. Oh, besides the one saying i still owe you two bible study classes. guilty* I'm sorry for owing you for such a long time and now need Joey to take over. When i go back, i give you two bedtime stories to replace it. HAHA. It's really good to have you as one of my daughters in w47. There are lots of qualities that i want to learn from you like self-discipline, ( wonder how you can actually sit down for hours and do your revision. your butt not pain kah? Xp) time-management (can balance both study and play) and the determination in achieving your goals! Keep striving for excellence in all areas of your life, mummy support you always. AND for your relationship, i want to BEG you, please get rid of the DOUBTS in your head because it will only leads you to unhappiness and maybe single for the rest of your life. "Don't laugh! I'm serious! Mummy don't joke with you this thing.Xp (quoted from your grandma) " I really wish to see you finding your happiness soon. Pray to God when you're lost or confused, He will show you the way. I guarantee you because i've experienced it. (you must be wondering what is that experience, but i can only tell you when i go back to Msia...hard to explain in words.Xp) Alright, hope to see a prettier, smarter and happier Jen when i go back! Love you^^

Dear Ginger, nodding head* Sweetest Devotion definitely is my favorite song during Asia Conference and now it is my all time favorite because you dedicated and modified it for me. =) I'm really glad that you came in to this family. Although we only know each other for less than a year, 7months ++ but there was something that draws us close very quickly. Maybe your passion towards to food like me that brought us together.HAHA. Having you as part of w47 is definitely a great blessing to us. You brought along the sunshine, laughters and vibrant attitude into this family. I'm looking forward to having more sweet memories and fun time together with you in the days to come. SHOPPING, SING K, MAKAN (Snowflakes!!), MOVIE and etc! Thank you doing this VIDEO CLIP for me! I'm really touched and it never fails to tear me EACH time i play the clip but all of those tears were tears of joys and appreciations! Love you very much! Continue to be strong and desperate to be in His presence. It's through partnering with God that your path will be well taken care of. Looking forward to see a shining, gorgeous, and powerful Ginger^^ Loves.

Dear WanLing a.k.a 'xun lui', thank you being a part of this warm family! Maybe we are both from Alor Star, i feel so warm and homey whenever i'm with you. I'm really grateful that God used Daniel to introduce you to me. Your sweet smile, sincere laughters and jolly attitude vibrates W47! I'm sure all of us are blessed each time you come to church and cell group because you will never fail to bring happiness to us. I can see lots of great things will be coming from you because you chose to believe in Him. All the best in adapting yourself with KL life and if you do need any help or supports, w47 is always READY for you. I'm here for you too although we're miles away =) Love ya!^^

Dear Sherene, you must be laughing or wondering how come my picture with you so 'special'. It's because i realised we didn't take any pictures together yet. Luckily, i found this nice picture which i can cropped away WanLing and Ginger (sorry dear ><) and make it like OUR photo! HAHA.. Anyway, when i go back to Msia we MUST take loads and loads of pictures together ya! ^^ It's really fun and great to know you and to have you as my lovely grand-daughter. Your sweet dimple smile like me makes us click together very fast. I'm really looking forward to know you more, have more fun and maybe shopping together with you and WanLing. 3months to go...wait for me ya! save money and when i'm back, we'll go outing together again, sing k, bowling, steambot and SHOPPING!!!!! ^^ Loves.

* W47 *

WOW! It's definitely a LONG LONG post! THANK YOU for being a part of my life. I LOVE all of you and i will always REMEMBER all of you even though i'm miles away! If there's anything you guys wanna UPDATE or SHARE with me, just drop me a message in FB.

* It's just a CLICK away from me n you!*

THAT'S ALL FOR NOW! CHECK OUT MY NEXT POST FOR MORE UPDATES! ^^

* blerk *

: LIFE is like a MARATHON. You need ENDURANCE and PERSEVERANCE to complete it NOT speed. Even if you're the slowest runner but as long as you DON'T give up, you might be the FIRST one to COMPLETE the race. There might be time when you're so tired and fed up with all the bad things that is happening to you, but as long as you ENDURE through it, you'll see the BRIGHTER side at the end of it. Just like the sayings: EVERY CLOUD HAS ITS SILVER LINING ^^

~ ♥ © cHeLLe ♥ ~