Negative energy

Where are you when I needed you the most? Where are you when I need you to give me strength and confirmation? Where are you? What's going on with me? I've been feeling very restless, tired and sick of everything for the past few weeks ;( Why things just can't go smoothly here for me? Why can't I enjoy every moment here? I felt like I've made the worst decision to have come here. ><

I tried to be strong, be positive and be independent in every situation. But, when the waves and storms kept hitting me again and again, I can't stand here strong anymore. My stupid tears just kept falling down from eyes when I think about it. I know I sounded so miserable. I don't wish things will turns out this way but each time I'm glad at it, it will be the time I'm disappointed at it. There is no one to be blame except me myself.

Where should I head to? Should I go back? or Should I stay a little longer? Either ways is the one I want. I've lost the confidence of making decision because when I thought my decision was the right one, it turns out to be the opposite.

I need constant confirmation that I'm not alone. I need to know that you care. I need to know that you still remember me. I want you to say that you'll never leave me in any situation. I hate being alone! The feeling of being left out is terrible. Thinking of the time I have to be alone is disastrous.

P/S: "you" here stands for everyone that I cares for and if you care too, SHOW (not just by saying) to me that I'm not alone because my energy is really low now and i need to regain my strength to fight through this tough time.